Tuesday, November 23, 2004

The 2004-05 Knuckleheads

sports in general were an acquired taste for me. I was always, and still am, a big dork. star trek? comic books? video games? I rank pretty high on the top 500 list recently published by Nerdular Nerdence.

but I didn't really get into sports until later on, and even then I was more fan than fanatic. (purposefully didn't say athletic supporter.) I used to love going to sabres games in the orange section with dad, or freezing my bottom off while tailgating at rich. one weekend a few years ago, I went to a cubs game, then flew home for a sabres game, and then saw the bills play the jets the next day. oh, if only buffalo had a pro curling team, I really could have done more with my free time that weekend.

today, I’m still no aficionado when it comes to pro sports, but I definitely enjoy them more, and I’ve developed an action plan that'll at least make it look like I know what I’m talking about. last year, I collected hockey cards with cecilia (a shout out to Mr. B), which was fun, but a) expensive, and b) futile since I got more excited about completing the collection than about becoming hockey-savvy. Hockey Cards: Gotta Catch'em All!

this year, since the hockey industry is bickering like gallagher brothers, my Grow A Pair And Learn About Sports Program has shifted its focus to football via the perfect marriage of a manly american pastime and internet geekitude: a fantasy league. my team is named The Knuckleheads, and boy-howdy, I must be a natural because we kick the donkey's ass. I have the best record (9-2) for the season so far, and the second best cumulative point total.

so have I succeeded? did my plan work? ooooh, you bet not, my friends. no I may be the best fantasy manager/coach ever or anywhere, but ask me a single player on my team and forget it. I can sing the complete ducktales theme, I still remember the konami code, I can tell you in which buffalo comic shop you’re more likely to find a back issue of astro city, and which issue I was buying when I met alex ross in chicago. but ask me who any of my TEs or RBs play for, and I’ll probably say the mariners.

so how about that, my friends in the fantasy league? The guy who doesn’t know the quarterback from the head cheerleader (the same guy who used the suggest button all through the draft) has the best record AND just clinched a spot in the playoffs.

Tune in next week, loyal readers, when I talk about how, in a stunning display of dumbassery, I lost a ranking spot in the league by trading manning out for ruth bader ginsburg or something. (and for what it’s worth, I’ll probably still have the ducktales theme running through my mind...)

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