Monday, November 15, 2004

the man's mall

when I make a compilation CD for someone, I always put the best song second. the first track is obligatory. the recipient is required to listen to the first song by the Laws of Comp CDs (which were drawn from the Rules Regarding Mix Tapes, a document whose origins can be traced back to, I don't know, the Folder of Sheet Music Regulations or whatever predated cassette tapes. whistling?) but it's the second song that is the true test - will this compilation catch the attention of the giftee's ears? or will the rest of the CD's mediocrity be ushered in by a weak 2nd song effort?

my point - yes, I have one - is that we've reached the second post since I sent around my mass email, so it's time to bring out the good stuff. ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the idea that will make me and all of my friends (investors) our millions. I give to you my plans thus far for...


Those that know me, or have overheard me drinking, know that this has been a dream of mine ever since trying to christmas shop at a mall in chicago. I looked around and decided that there must be an enormous (and enormously ignored) market segment of men who need the service of a shopping center, but hate the controlling and uncomfortable nature of the american mall. the needs and desires of NASCAR dads are unimportant, you say? think again. it's a growing demo/psychographic, and someone is going to make a lot money once they realize how to harness that segment.

a full description would be too long to put into one post even by my standards (I tried – it was four pages long), but suffice it to say that it’s going to change the way we look at brick and mortar retail forever. it isn’t anti-female; in fact women are encouraged to join in on the fun. come sit in one of the movie theatre’s barcaloungers, or take advantage of each clothing stores’ new structure: they’ll be divided by size, not by style. as you walk in, you immediately get scanned by the store sensors, and a print out tells you where to go and what'll fit. happy customers are good customers.

No one will dispute that men and women have different shopping habits. Just like the differences between races, ages, etc., these are notions that can either be seen as obstacles to overcome or opportunities that could very well propel an eager entrepreneur into a successful retail (and societal) venture.

And if nothing else, it’ll give us all a place where we can go to get those cool sleeve napkins. no more wasting time getting that serviette from your lap to your mouth!

Come to think of it, I’d better get to work on it since this is sounding more and more like someplace I really want the bachelor party.

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