Thursday, November 18, 2004

state of the toybox address

Haaaaaaaappy birthday to yoooooouuu!
Haaaaaaaappy birthday to yoooooouuu!
Happy one week biiiiiiiirthday, royal toyboooooooox!
Happy birthda*

*this birthday blog has been terminated by the attorneys of John F. Stenbeck. Anyone ever watch Sports Night? It's kind of like that episode where the voice of Lisa Simpson (who was also on Herman's Head) played the lawyer that informed Dan (Josh Charles - who was in Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams who was in Cadillac Man with Tim Robbins who was in Mystic River with Kevin Bacon) that he was being fined for singing this song on the air. It’s kind of like that except Aaron Sorkin has nothing to do with my blog. But MAN, wouldn’t that be cool???

switching gears, I want to celebrate the toybox’s one week birthday by bringing in a new element – talking about the issues. don’t worry, I’m not going to do this too often, since I rarely have any opinions worth sharing on anything topical (“blah blah blah desmond tutu”).

first, I just want to extend a fresh hanky to the modern media and let them know that it’s going to be okay. the american society may surprise you sometimes, but my advice is just to drop the issue or, like a bad scab, it will never go away. take a deep breath, count to ten, and realize that not nearly as many people were really truly upset about terrell owens and nicollette sheridan as you’re making them out to be.

american public, back me up on this. yes we want decency, yes we’d like to be able to watch something, just every so often, with our kids and our grandparents in the same room. but we aren’t all going to raise an agrarian revolt, complete with torches and pitch forks, everytime someone says “ka-ka”, or happens to show a bare ankle on prime time television. give us at least some credibility.

and for those of you who were truly upset about this, why aren’t you up in arms about every single beer commercial they’ve shown every other monday night since the beginning of time?!? if you really want to protect your kids, if you really want to make good on your role as a parent, then why aren’t you rioting in the streets over the proposed red budget? (yes, I realize that it’s just being proposed as a negotiation tactic, but, like it or hate it, shouldn’t that alone have the masses murmering?)

wow, I just re-read this post so far, and everything from “switching gears” to “murmering?)” has me a little embarrassed as to the direction the toybox took today. for one thing, I see a lot of holes in my logic, and for another I feel like a parent who got drunk and yelled at his kid’s birthday party. ignore it. forget I wrote it. someone tell a joke. what’s brown and sticky? a stick.

I swear I’ll get back to teh funnay tomorrow.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

what do you call a boomerang that doesnt work?
a stick.

this is much funnier than "what's brown and sticky."