Tuesday, December 07, 2004

not just for breakfast anymore

someday, universities will offer classes on my ingenious culinary masterpieces. the young and the old alike will always put on their sunday best when dining out at a garvey-style restaurant because the experience will demand a high level of hoity-toitiness. a celebrated Maya Angelou IV will write epic poems focusing on the taste creations I’ve invented, and an experienced Aaron Sorkin VI will no doubt find a level of fame unrealized by his ancestors when he produces Mike Garvey’s Recipes Are Brilliant.

for instance, I’d like to share with the world my recipe for Raisin Bran and Honey-Nut Cheerios cereal:

Ingredients:
Raisin Bran
Honey-Nut Cheerios (wegman’s brands are tasty and cheap, the cornerstones of the Mike Garvey Food Empire)
Milk

Procedure:
1. Combine one (1) part HNC with one (1) part RB and add milk to taste.
2. Enjoy!

disclaimer: mr. garvey is in no way responsible for the decreased enjoyment you may, nay, most definitely will experience with other typical breakfast foods (or for that matter, any foods at all) as a result of sampling the product of this recipe. he apologizes for making all other foods seem bad by comparison, and suggests you reference the recipe for Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch and Rice Chex if in need of variety.


Posted by Hello

days until birthday: 9
days until christmas: 18

No comments: