Saturday, January 08, 2005

the washington post

my trip to DC was incredible, and even though I’m a few days late reporting on it, I think it still deserves a few inches room in the toybox. let’s start this production at the beginning. the lights come up on a beautiful stage set for an engagement party. our characters mingle, chicken satay in one hand and expensive hooch in the other. garvey and his mom catch up…

Mom: oh hey, I’m going to Washington DC to see Higgins get sworn in!
Me: nice! You got me a ticket, right?

yup, that’s right. I only got to go to washington because I invited myself. I think that’s how lincoln got there too. his mom and dad were getting ready for a trip to the capital, locking up the log cabin, crossing tasks of to-do lists written on a shovel, and abe pretty much muscled his way onto the stagecoach. hey, these are the things the parents of future presidents have to put up with. vote garvey, by the way.

anyway, you’ve already had a taste of my trip there. lisa and I flew independence air and made friends with an attendant who loved her job a little too much. luckily, someone hit us with knockout gas as soon as we got onto the plane, so all I remember is Great Big Sea playing on lisa’s ipod. (we bought a splitter so we could both listen to it – this is technology that needs to go back in the oven for a few more minutes.)

since we took an earlier flight, lisa and I had a few hours to walk around before my parents touched down. we left our luggage at the hotel, picked a direction and ended up at jed bartlet’s place. now, we were right in the middle of DC, where you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting something historic and monumentish, but we seriously started walking at random and would have walked right up to the steps of the white house except that I’m not:
A) able to walk through big fences
B) bulletproof, and/or
C) a squirrel

but, hey, I was more than happy to gaze at the house from pennsylvania ave. actually, they were setting up bleachers either for a really big outdoor basketball game or the inauguration so we watched that for a little while and then got tired of seeing the capital set up for history and found a starbucks. we weren’t really able to get too close to these structures anyway, again, since neither lisa nor I have the security clearance of the squirrels. man, their lobbyist must be really good.

that night, we all went to nora, a restaurant in georgetown surrounded by extremely affordable housing. actually, no, the quality/price of these houses were beaten only by the amount dad must have paid for the wine we drank that night.

okay, so the next day, tuesday, was when the real patriotism started. that’s when we got up, shook off the expensive wine hangover, and risked the 65 degree january weather as we walked up to the new higgins office. the plan was to watch the inauguration on TV from the comfort of this 10 foot by 10 foot room with the other 36 higgins supporters, because evidently we just weren’t cool enough to actually see it live. and anyway the guy with the gavel would have been all “Mr. Higgins, I hope you brought enough constituents for everyone…” and brian would have been like “guys, I told you not to embarrass me!” and I would have been all “this place is deeaaaaad anyway” and then I’d go back to nora for more ice wine.

I’ll bet you anything the squirrels were allowed in there.

after that we went to a little reception where my mom was able to complete all of her life goals by meeting hillary clinton. yeah, take that squirrels, I got to shake the lovely ms. clinton’s hand! she really did look like ana gasteyer.

the rest of the trip was a blur, and since this post is already bigger than higgins’s new office, I’ll close here. everyone needs to go to DC, by the way. regardless of how you feel about the president, or the government, or the state of things in general. “I love my country so much, man. Like an exasperating friend.” go see the Vietnam memorial with your dad, and the WWII memorial with someone who knows what the other six pillars represent (in my case, that was the same person). go see the archives, go see Arlington, and go see the Lincoln memorial. sorry you can’t get any closer, you’re not a squirrel.

(lisa took this pic. I was afraid the squirrel was going to claim its right to prima nocte.)
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