Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I'm not a real dad, but I play one on tv

9:15am - I have seven babies.

well, okay, my character has seven babies. and technically, he only has three kids and four alternates. which really is better, since that means markedly fewer diapers for me to change.

9:55am - right now, I’m sitting in the green room, up to my elbows in fisher price baby bric-a-brac, trying furiously to learn my line: "me too! I wonder what mom made us for dinner!" in another few hours, FP will have enough footage of Mike The Goofy Dad to make an industry short, or a commercial, or whatever, and I'll have surrendered my many children back to their "real" parents. pftht. I bet they'd prefer me.

10:30am - my eldest son, the smartest 3rd grader ever to have lived, is a kid named seamus. seamus goes to west seneca elementary now, but wants to transfer to st. francis for high school, and then go to notre dame to play football, and eventually go into politics. hmmm... they typecast, I guess. my "wife", katie, has been given run of da babies, so entertaining young seamus falls to dad:

me: that was a good take, man. are you in the drama club at school?
seamus: no.
me: oh, well, you're really good. you should try out.
seamus: thanks.
me: yup. (awkward silence. time for the A material.) so how 'bout that superman? he's pretty cool, huh? ha ha.
seamus: wolverine would beat him in a fight.
(more, awkwarder, silence.)
me: I have no son. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!

okay, maybe I didn't say that last line, but only because the director pulled us away. wolverine, my fanny.

11:40am - the shoot continues. oops, wait a while...

1:07pm - the shoot has ended. well, my part of it, anyway. I think my babies had to stay through lunch, but since they aren't really mine, I don't really care. I promise when I do have kids, I'll be a little more attentive, but until then I have this dibella's sub to think about. mmm... "everything" bread...

1 comment:

Scott said...

Why pretend? I'll rent you three anytime you want.