Thursday, March 03, 2005

no more monkeys jumping on the bed

wednesday, 10:30am: so this morning, in a continuing effort to ready my body for not-being-eight-years-old-anymore, I’ve gone to see the doctor. he's a family friend of the battaglias, so that's a good sign, but I can't shake the feeling that I’m walking into a midterm and I rarely showed up for class. I don't think I’m going to "fail", heavens no, but if there's an essay on cholesterol levels or outlandishly high blood pressure, I don't think I’ll be getting an "A".

I’m in the waiting room right now, and here are a few things I’ve noticed thus far:

-old people LOVE the doctor's. this waiting room is like a geriatric studio 54.
-no muzak for the Kenmore Family Practice waiting room! however, leaving the radio playing has yielded some doozies: "ain't no sunshine" and (seriously) "rockin pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu". apropos, no?
-my insurance card is silly with code numbers and I’ll be damned if I know which is which. lisa, however, can read through this stuff like she's monitoring the matrix: "blond, redhead, provider group number..."
-the plants in the waiting room are all real and quite healthy. I don't know if that should make me feel better, but it does.

thursday, 7:30pm: well, the appointment went well enough, although the doc did say my blood pressure is a tad high. I’m sure they’ll give me a better second opinion over at mighty taco. I had to get a shot, and I’m happy to inform everyone that it didn’t hurt nearly as much as I remember it hurting, so it turns out my tolerance for pain has matured right along with my… well… everything else.

I won’t bore and/or gross you out with the details, but here’s a quick conversation outlining my inability to be funny when I’m wearing a paper gown:

doc: how are you feeling today?
me: great… you?
doc: um, fine. any history of illness in the family?
me: there’s a strong genetic disposition to the rockin’ pneumonia, but I’m told it skips a generation.
doc: (sighs, gets out the big hypodermic needle)

hmmm… in other news, I think I might include bullet points and conversations in all of my posts from now on.

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