Friday, April 22, 2005

The Meme Post

My friends, I have been memed. Yeah, I had to look it up too. I’m not even sure how to pronounce it.

Essentially, from what I can piece together out of meme.org and Wikipedia, a “meme” is a grand game of “pass it on”, with one person telling a story, sharing an experience, performing an action, etc., and then tagging (“meme-ing”) three others to do something similar, and so on ad infinitum.

Unintentionally, without realizing entire blog-societies exist to promulgate memes, we did something along those lines back here. Today’s topic, though, is something in which I might someday get an honorary doctorate: “stupidity”. Tom, who had been tagged by Ian (not to mention a sidewalk when he was a kid) memed me, with the threat of universal paradox if I didn’t follow up. Well, let’s see what we can pull out of repression, shall we?

Manalive, so many to choose from. A few Caroline stories spring to mind. That poor girl has become the epitome of embarrassment personified in my mind. She’s no longer so much an old college chum, but instead she’s come to represent the mythic pinnacle of (comically) failed attempts at a collegiate love life. But as Tom points out, “embarrassing” and “stupid” are only frequent bedfellows, almost always found intertwined, but certainly not the same thing. My Caroline stories a) are much more embarrassing than stupid, and b) are at least 80% exaggerated. Something tells me the sanctity of the meme demands full, naked truth.

Yesterday, I sent a PowerPoint presentation to a classmate via email, with the note “Someday they will open entire libraries in honor of my bullshitting abilities. -Mike” Naturally, she opened the email in class, projector running, for all (professor included) to see. Stoopit, to be sure, but are these my most horrendous examples of dumbassery?

Okay, in honor of getting something down on paper, here goes: I, Mike Garvey, was in a vampire movie. I’m not even sure if this counts, because it stretched over more than year, or at least it felt like it. This was back in college. I still had aspirations of becoming a star of stage and screen, and I’d just read that a young’n shouldn’t turn down anything. Do a play in the basement of a coffee house. Volunteer for student productions. Sing on street corners. So long as it built your resume, it was okay to do the shitty work at first.

But this… this was just too much. Too bad, too wrong, too stuuuuuupid to count for anything resume-worthy. You’d think I’d have picked up on the fact that there was no script, just a 13 page outline. Or perhaps that most of the production crew was related. But no, I was blinded by the fact that I’d landed the lead in an independent film, which, in my mind, was going to do quite well riding the coattails of the recently successful Blair Witch Project.

Well, it didn’t. Production was dragged out over the course of a year, starting and stopping every time the piggy bank budget ran dry, or a frustrated special effects guy packed up, or one of the 500 year old cameras we were using broke, or (I swear I’m not making this up) they had to write the next scene. So, yeah, I’m going to rank that little project up there with the stupidest things I’ve ever done. Not so much because it was bad, but rather because I had such high hopes going in, and because it took a year of my life (which precluded me from doing other theatre), and because (oh, I forgot to mention this!) it turned out to be a religious film. Yup, you read that right. After the editing was all done, and we got our first glimpse of the final project, it was all about relying on these Christ symbols and brotherhood, and never giving up on faith.

Hoo boy, that hurt. Excellent topic WitNit, and thanks for the shout-out, Tom. Okay, time to pass the buck.

Scott – I want to hear what you have to say on the subject.
Sarah – you knew as soon as I started talking about the vampire nonsense that I was going to pick you, right?
Cecilia – now that you’re internet-ready again, consider yourself memed.

4 comments:

sarah said...

I was rewrite for, like, two scenes.
After giving him new pages he said, "This is good, are you sure you don't want to keep this for yourself?"

Red.

Flag.

I asked to have my name taken off the credits. he wouldn't.

Tom said...

The question now is how does one get his hands on this film...?

Scott said...

Well, I fell through my porch today. But using that would be the biggest cop out of all time. I accept your challenge. Now, what can I print that my mother-in-law won't faint at reading. . .

Garvey said...

tom, one only gets his hands on this film if he's on his way to the burnpile.

I contend it's the reason I quit acting, since I'm afraid it'll show up during my first appearance on Conan.