Monday, May 30, 2005

"Fragile" at the Amazon Theater/Tribeca Film Festival Short-Film Competition

If anyone reads this today, check out my friend's movie over at Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/screeningroom). Evidently, his film was picked as a finalist out of more than a thousand shorts, and now is in the running for some major moolah, not to mention a gem for his resume.

David's film, "Fragile", stands on its own though, and I know he and his crew put a lot of work into it. If you get a chance, head over to http://www.amazon.com/screeningroom, watch the short, and rate it as you see fit. Oh yeah, bring tissues.

The voting for it ends today (I just found out about it - word travels slowly from the south) so take a few seconds and go there now. Click here for a press release explaining the competition.

Thanks everyone. When you make a movie that has a baby fight, I'll be happy to vote for it too.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

the post written in-between thank you notes

The last few days have been a whirlwind of partied activity, and tonight I’m a richer man for having lived through them.

Going backwards: today took me to the same rainy Memorial Day party I’ve gone to for the last three years, only this one had more babies. My brother in law’s mum throws a backyard BBQ every May, and as sure as the bean dip is served with Doritos, the rain once again chased we happy few under carports, insta-tents, and the garage. Man, I do love that bean dip. Before going, I stopped off at the mall and picked up a fleece on clearance from $50 to $5.39. I’m such a good shopper.

Yesterday, I made it out to the family grounds to help set up for Esther’s baby shower, an event that baby’s peers will read about in the history books of the future. First of all, the lawns looked great, if I do say so myself. Secondly, once the party got going, I got to hang out in the basement bar-room with dad and Louis, watching the yanks suck it up, talking about our up-coming Alaska trek, eating pepperoni, drinking Flying Bison, and generally trying to balance the hormonal ocean one floor above with swear words and farts. I think we held our own.

Friday night, I was truly blessed to attend my own wedding shower, thrown expertly by Lisa’s extended fam. Guys aren’t used to this, or at least, it isn’t something I ever thought I’d be in the center of. Technically, it was a “couple’s shower”, so the tools, the grilling accoutrements, the American flag suspenders, the Mighty Taco gift certificates, etc. belong to both me and Lisa… well, maybe I’ll share the monkey candle holders. We’ll see.

Friday, May 27, 2005

I'm a huckleberry over your persimmon

I played poker with da boys last night and broke even, which is better than I can really expect to do. At my best, I was able to tempt Joe into going all in against my full house. At my worst, I went up against a straight with a jack high. Poker terms poker terms blah blah blah.

Last night, I had a dream that we decided to change up the hold 'em rules such that we "flopped" all the rest of the deck. I was so excited because with the 35 or so cards available to me, I was able to make a pair of nines. In the dream realm, I can fly, dogs can talk, the next starburst is always your favorite flavor, and a pair of nines trumps any other hand at the table.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

internal monologue

Things I thought about during my six hours of lawn-mowing today:

· Gotta finish up the groomsmen gifts.
· Damn, do I need sunscreen? Is it that summer-y?
· I have 350 songs on this ipod, why have the first three been A Tribe Called Quest? Oh, duh, it’s not on shuffle.
· No really, how do I feel about embryonic stem cell research?
· Some people automatically remember their childhoods when they smell gingerbread or cinnamon. My childhood smells more like fresh cut grass and gasoline. And it sounds like either a diesel engine or a seagull.
· …I gotta get, I got-got ta get it…
· 44 days.
· The bachelor party
· Thursday in the Square has an excellent lineup this year and I think it starts tomorrow.
· I wonder what Papa would be up to right now if he were still alive. I wonder where he’d choose to go if it came down to Albany or UB Law.
· Yup, time for sunscreen.
· One of those Erdingers would go down pretty good right now.
· What else do I need to do before I leave for Alaska?
· Man, I hated Oscar Wilde.
· It would take at least 200 to overcome a healthy, hungry lioness. Maybe more.
· So, who won the filibuster issue, really? A true moderate is going to clean up one of these days. Red or blue, I think there are more in the middle than anyone assumes. The United States of Maybe, Maybe Not.
· President Michael J Garvey.
· President Michael J Garvey, MBA, Esq.
· And, of course, First Lady Lisa Garvey
· I could run down Louis with this tractor right now. I’m not mad at him or anything; I’m just saying he’d never see it coming.
· Okay, six hours of mowing done. Three lawns, a ten foot pile of clippings, two minor cuts, one farmer's tan, and I still have no idea where I stand on stem cells. Time for an Erdinger.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

without missing a beat...

Lisa: "Mike and his father are going to Alaska for a week to catch king salmon."
Mr. Carr: "Naw... they're just going for the halibut."

get it? "hell of it"?!? that man's a card.

Monday, May 23, 2005

www.midnightbox.com

So I need to throw in a quick plug for a few ex-classmate friends (I mean, used-to-be-classmates, still-are-friends) of mine. These are the guys who left grad school with a class project and decided it was good enough to make some real cash. They just “opened” their doors for the first time, and if they’re anywhere near as good in reality as they were at UB, this is going to be a fun one to watch.

www.midnightbox.com

If you’ve ever gone to www.woot.com (and who hasn’t?) it’s pretty much the same deal, only there’s more of a time effect going on. It’s an online retailer that only sells one item per day, but you don’t know what it is until they reveal it at the end, or you’re able to figure it out via the hourly clues. Of course, the price goes up a touch every time they drop another clue, so it’s all about the risk.

People are starting to realize that the communicative/e-commerce nature of the internet is not limited to emails, IMs, and an I’m-the-big-business,-you’re-the-tiny-customer mentality. In fact, a lot of money is being made through companies like woot and neopets and ebay that run in the face of the old brick and mortar retailer. Granted, I’m not going to be buying a car or a house through these guys anytime soon, but the point is that they’re setting the stage for an online community where I can talk shit about other peoples’ mouse-balls, and a local web-based start-up gets to make a few bucks. Good for Buffalo, I say.

Check it out if you get the chance. If you register (it's free), put “mikegarvey” in the “referral code” slot so I can earn enough points to win a psp. I mean, support my friends.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

In no particular order...

Scott pegged me to answer a few questions, and since all good things come in threes, today we’re meme-ing in triplicate.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. The many forms of “Michael”
2. Garvey
3. Sandy
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. ffleance
2. all monkey poop
3. supergarv
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my voice
2. my beard (even though annie hates it)
3. my six pack
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my hair is thinning
2. I’m big-boned…
3. my lack of a six pack
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. French
3. German
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. failure
2. powerlessness
3. elephants
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Lisa
2. technology
3. coffee
THREE THINGS YOU’RE WEARING NOW:
1. jeans
2. smartwool socks (thanks Katie and dad!)
3. boxer briefs
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTIST
1. Lemon Jelly
2. Kings of Leon
3. The Chieftains
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS
1. The Fugs – Boobs a Lot
2. Brak – De Der Down
3. Stevie Wonder – Superstitious
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I am happy
2. Monkeys are funny
3. I can’t hear Dixieland jazz without dancing at least a little
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. laugh
3. posture (and by that, I mean “boobs”)
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. video games
2. the internets
3. mowing the lawn. No, seriously.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. invent a perpetual motion machine
2. skip the next 47 days
3. get loopy
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
1. law – private practice
2. law – politics
3. law – megalomaniac CEO
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Italy
2. Scotland
3. Cuba
THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Esmerelda
2. Charlester
3. Beulah (and Lisa agrees with me on all three.)
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. own a yacht
2. see the NY Lottery billboard change.
3. get out from under this huge boulder
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL/BOY:
1. motorcycles are ridiculously dangerous. And awesome.
2. I know how good a shot I am with a black powder muzzle loader, how quickly it takes me to change a flat, and how many carbombs I can do before saturation.
3. I have, on more than one occasion, thanked God that I didn’t kill myself doing some stupid thing, and then continued to do that thing. This typically involved firecrackers.
THREE CELEBRITY CRUSHES
1. Rachel Ray
2. Lisa Bonet
3. Lynda Carter
THREE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW MEMED:
1. Alex
2. Em
3. Katie B – but since she doesn’t have a blog (yet), she can just leave a comment below. Or get off her arse and get a blog, dammit.

the lovely ladies of canisius who know what “trabeculae” means

Today's activity: there are 472 doctors in the picture below. can you find them all?


Posted by Hello

The weekend went by at lightening-quick speed. In fact, all of last week did too. I’ve been working as a landscaper/gardener/mechanic/and mover of copy machines since graduation, and somehow, having an MBA makes me better at all of these things. You should see me mow a lawn. It isn’t that pretty, but I can statistically analyze the hell out of it.

Speaking of which, that professor gave me my only B for the semester, effectively shutting down my dreams for a four oh in oh five. I landed A’s in everything else, though, so I’ll walk away with a 3.73 for the semester—the highest grade I’ve ever gotten. I’m so smrt.

Last weekend was kid’s stuff: An animatronic rat sang happy birthday to Cecilia, while I was more entertained by plastic cups of beer and a game where you had to propel a token into a shark’s mouth or a volcano. Young Aidan was in attendance, and doing his best Nick Nolte impression. Then this weekend, I killed brain cells like other adults, in bars, at home, at graduation get-togethers and at horse racing parties.

I chose Greeley’s Galaxy, by the way, on the advice of a magic eight ball and a talking Yoda doll. But hey, good for Afleet Alex. I do love the lemonade.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Wrap up

Hi, I’m Mike Garvey. Mike Garvey, MBA. Want me to run a statistical analysis for you? I can do that. Need a historical summary of strategic takeovers/mergers? I’m your man. Want to know how to write a paper just good enough to pass? Heck, I’ve known how to do that since well before getting a masters.

Graduation went well. Current Mom and Dad and Future Mom and Dad pretty much dropped everything else they were doing this weekend to focus on their favorite children. Two graduation ceremonies in as many days is the truest sign of love, and the ‘rents went above and beyond. We capped it all off with a dinner at Lombardo’s, where I had my first ever gelato, my first ever lemoncello, and my first I-can’t-wait-to-be-in-Italy moment since the semester ended.

Last night, Lisa and I met a few of my ex-classmates out at the Pearl Street Brewery. Though I don’t remember why, we were collectively known as “The Tigers” during the first semester of our first year, when we were lumped together for all of our common classes. Any remorse for the program ending hadn’t yet hit me, but I will say that seeing these guys, most of whom were leaving Western New York perhaps forever, struck a cord. One is chasing love and potential work to Florida, one is going to work for anyone other than P&G in Taiwan, one was going back overseas to meet his month old son for the first time, and one is moving back to Canada because she’s bored. Oh, and one is staying in buffalo because she got into UB Law. I’m not bitter, but if I was, I’d mention all the people she talked smack about last night.

Congrats, Tigers. Now go outside. And someone pass me the gelato.

Monday, May 16, 2005

surveytastic

Last song you heard?Y Control by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Last CD you bought?Super D by Ben Folds
Last download?The Real Tuesday Weld - Bathtime in Clerkenwell (the video)
Last band you saw live?does Lance Diamond count?
First band you saw live?sarah and I have so much in common: it was a doubleheader of The Monkees and Weird Al
Next gig?no plans just yet.
Worst gig?Dave Matthews played the MMA in '99 or '00. they just weren't into it.
Favourite gig?The Stones
Favourite local band?I don't know if they're still around, but there was a local band in chicago called Then Again. They were always a good time.
Current favourite band?Too many to choose one for "all-time", but today I'm back to Soul Coughing
Band you wish would reform?The early Barenaked Ladies. back when they were good and liked Buffalo.
Band you wish would split?I'm sorry. I tried I just don't "get" Five For Fighting.
Favourite music video?Either JXL's remix of A Little Less Conversation, or Fatboy Slim's Weapon of Choice.
First music you remember buying?Magical Mystery Tour
Group people wouldn't imagine you listening to?Jewel. and they'd be right.
What group did you listen to a lot at 14?The Beatles
15?Moxy Fruvous
16?BNL
CD you'll never sell?Talking Heads - Sand in the Vaseline, but for sentimental reasons

Friday, May 13, 2005

See you at Charles Edward Fromage's

When Cecilia was a toddler, she used to have a signature “look”, where she’d turn her head and glance at me out of the corners of her eyes as if to say “you’re crazy, but I love ya.” She was adept at choosing the exact right times to do it, and it never failed to make me laugh.

More recently, she’s lived in three of the coolest cities in the western hemisphere, she makes the best deserts ever, I’m proud to say she’s in my wedding, and today is her birthday. I believe she’s turning six.

Even though she doesn’t blog anymore unless we pester her enough, leave her a note here or in the comments below wishing her a good one.



Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

all nighter 7am

Oops! I missed a post!

Things are actually going well enough. I've giving the paper a once-over, which means I still have about 45 minutes to correct/add/delete anything, most of which, at this point would be a steaming pile of doody.

On the other hand, I think it's a pretty solid paper. This professor is notorious for inconsistancy in grading, so I probably could have jotted something down on a post-it note and done just as well.

I'm listening to: my room mate waking up. I had to take these headphones off.
coffee #: not enough.

49 page write-up in eight hours - longest... spellcheck... ever...

all nighter 6am

we're rounding third, friends. I just say the sun come up. well, no, I saw the gossamer curtains in the living room go from a ghostly, smoky gray to a brighter, friendlier greenish. I have kind of a bittersweet relationship with the moment that you realize you've left the comfort of pre-dawn. on one hand, it means that the deadline is more quickly approaching (3 more hours to go, with about 3.5 hours worth of work to do yet). but on the other, it means I was able to prove I'm not entirely submissive to the circadian rhythm. take that, human nature!

I'm listening to: "Mr. Mastadon Farm" by Cake
coffee #: yeah... I made another pot. I'm hooked.

It was the lark.

all nighter 5am

I got a lot done in the last hour, but not quite enough. Since I have to have it in my prof's hands at 9am, I'll have to leave here by 8:30, which means I'll have to start printing at about 8, just to make sure everything's in place.

I'm listening to: Beck
Coffee #: Actually, I finished the last pot about half an hour ago and haven't had the time to make another. Time to open up the whiskey yet? Oh so close...

Page 32 and counting.

all nighter 4:07am - suppliment

Ha! I forgot to mention this. I have to name these segments for a bank's target market based on the rankings they gave to 20 different attributes. This prof insists on creativity here, and since one of the groups is rather miserly in its priorities, I keep going back to "The Scrooge McDucks". I have to wonder if the prof would get the reference, so I'll probably use "the penny pinchers" or "a penny saved..." or something lame like that.

If, however, I go with a Ducktales reference, I'd hereby like to be known as the first person to use both "Money Bin" and "lucky dime" in describing a segmentation designation.

all nighter 4am

Wow, okay. We've just hit page 25, and I'm guessing I'm about 2/3 of the way through this puppy. And since it's due by 9am sharp, the timing isn't looking too good. Cross those fingers.

I'm listening to: "There's always someone cooler than you" by Ben Folds
coffee #: 32,184.

keep 'em coming.

all nighter 3am

15 minutes ago, I played a sinatra song to commemorate the time, but since it was a ballad, that might not have been the best idea for we sleep deprived little monkeys. Otherwise, I'm still truckin' on, and I've just passed page 18 in tonight's adventure. And actually, its a lot more than that since I still need to add in a table of contents, a title page, and 64 pages of appendices (seriously). My poor printer...

The heartburn is gone, by the way, and in fact I'm getting peckish. About time for that ice cream, methinks.

I'm listening to: "We're The Replacements" by They Might Be Giants
I'm on coffee: Jeez, I've lost count. Especially since I spilled some. I'll say 6 and a half.

So thanks for the cheer...

all nighter 2am

Okay, a few things:
-Man, time flies when you mark off each hour with a blog post. When I was in college, I pulled more than my fair share of all nighters, and back then, I'd tick off 45 minute increments with a cigarette. At least blogging is slightly healthier.
-I smell. Miiiiiight be all the coffee.
-Heartburn. And it can't be from all the food. I don't have any in the apartment.
-Speaking of unhealthy and smelly and heatburn and college, did you see that Mighty Taco brought back their heavenly BBQ beef for the summer?
-The Marketing Research is going well. I've finished the Factor Analysis (which contains the word "anal" for a reason) and now I'm moving onto the Market Segmentation stuff. weeeee!

I'm listening to: "car thief" by the beastie boys
I'm on coffee number: 5, but I broke down and moved onto a regular sized mug after #3.

7 hours left.

all nighter 1am

Woof. Eyes are starting to hurt, staring at the same SPSS outputs and Excel files.

I'm listening to: Galileo by the Indigo Girls
I'm on coffee number: 2, still. I've been refilling a Dunkin' Donuts styrophome mug, and it's just about seen it's last cup o' joe. I don't want to move onto real glasses though, since my recently-unclogged sink is already overtaxed. so, next time I update I might just be drinking straight out of the pot.

peace.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

all nighter 12:07am

Still going strong, though I'd much rather be watching adult swim than playing with marketing research or studying for internet marketing. They have this cartoon called Robot Chicken that has had me laughing out loud more than a few times.

right now, I'm trying to prove that the data I'm using in my analysis is adequate. It isn't terribly hard, but this is all based on calculations I made a week ago. I have to use something called "Bartlett's Test of Sphericity", and all I can think of is Martin Sheen.

I'm listening to: "Sister Jack" by Spoon. I snagged it off of the radish.
I'm on coffee number: 2.

good times.

all-nighter 11pm

Ah spring. When a young man's mind turns to final exams. It is, at the moment, just past 11pm on Tuesday, May 10, 2005. The coffee is brewing, no fewer than four Excel spreadsheets and three Word docs are open on my desktop, and a whole slew of keep-me-awake music has been queued up. I have an emergency ice cream waiting for me in the freezer, but I think I'll be able to survive my last all-nighter for the semester (hell, for this degree) on adrenaline alone.

For the sake of posterity, I'm going to check in periodically throughout the night. I'm working mostly on Marketing Research, which is due at 9am. I have an Internet Marketing exam at 11:45, but if I don't get to that, I'm not too worried. Me and the internets are tight.

For those of you playing the Royal Toybox drinking game, expect more grammar errors as the night rolls on - we're posting sans spellcheck, baby!

I'm listening to: the new weezer album
I'm on coffee number: I've had at least a pot today, but let's start the counter back at "1".

aaaaaaaand, go!

revelations in bad writing

My friends, the muse has bitten, but apparently failed to break the skin.

I was taking a break yesterday and my mind wandered to science fiction and comic books and modern lit and just generally good writing. I can’t wait to start reading for leisure again this summer. Eggers has a new book out, and I think Michael Chabon (pronounced “Smith”) does too, and I know Neil Gaiman has Anansi Boys coming soon. And without knowing a thing about it, I’ve been convinced by Jess that I need to read Gates of Fire.

Whenever I start to think about really talented writing, I, of course, start to think it’s high time for me to put that novel that’s in me down on paper. Damned if I know what it is, but that’s the feeling I get anyway.

Unfortunately, most of my fictional writing boils down to one-trick-pony gimmicks that do poorly when expanded more than a few pages. “And it turned out he was actually a bug. The end.” “Did you get it? They were giants. The end.” “But of course, it wasn’t a funeral… it was a wedding. The end.” It seems as I finish each of my short stories, the writer in me is supposed to wring his hands and laugh, knowing that he’d tricked his readers into thinking one thing for forty paragraphs, only to have their world turned on ear in the last one. “Mwah-hah-ha! They’ll never see THAT coming. The carpet-bagger was actually the devil!”

But, as I said, the muse has bitten. Naturally, it’s going to have to take a number, since school doesn’t end for another two days, and after that I have some non-school funtimes to take care of, like reintroducing myself to my family, my friends, and beer.

Monday, May 09, 2005

I'll be studying. Just turn me towards the sun every so often.

Hi and welcome to Senioritis Central. I’m Captain Lazybones, I’ll be your tour guide, or at least I will when I wake up.

Okay, it’s not that bad. Actually, I’ve gotten a lot done this past week. I only have one more sit-down exam (Wednesday – Internet Marketing), one more term project (see “screaming into my pillow” below) and a take-home final that I’m finishing now (Entrepreneurship).

And, utilizing my tried and true leave-it-alone-and-it’ll-fix-itself method, my kitchen sink unclogged on its own today. I’m hoping this tactic works just as well with other aspects of my life – bills, apartment search, a summer job, etc. Thank God Lisa feeds me every so often. (mmm… chiavetta's and circus peanuts…)

Sunday, May 08, 2005

happy mother's day, y'all...

For mother's day, I had a picture of an infantile me and my mom drawn by a professional. I think it's a pretty good likeness.


Posted by Hello
Actually, the original was of mom and cecilia, and if you click on the picture, you can see what it's supposed to look like. She (cecilia) was none too happy with the bastardization of her portrait, which I'd printed and made into a mother's day card. I say, all's fair in love, war, and trying to prove mom loves you best.

Friday, May 06, 2005

screaming into a pillow

I got an emailed response from a professor yesterday that has me so mad I’m ready to flake on the final exam. This professor is notorious for an unfortunate combination of ambiguous instructions and few office hours. His class has no text, only class notes, so if you don’t understand something, you have no recourse but to ask him. Especially since he makes you sign an I-didn’t-get-help-from-anyone-else-in-the-class agreement for each assignment.

Below is the email I’m too chicken to send. Maybe I will after graduation, but where’s the fun in sending an angry email if you aren’t angry anymore?

Professor,

To correct your metaphor, since "adulthood" doesn't happen immediately following birth, a mother will care for a child even after the umbilical cord has been cut. I would not have asked these questions if I didn't have good reason, and I certainly would not have bothered you with them had I not already read and re-read all of the course material/instructions. All I ask is that you give me the benefit of the doubt - I wasn't asking for a handout, simply clarification.

As you state, this work is indeed for me to complete, but when you say that this is not your exam, I disagree. Even you have to admit that your grading methods are exact, demanding not only that our data results match your own, but also our style, our aesthetics, even down to the choice of font size. This is most certainly your exam, and therefore it is your task as our guide and self-appointed “mother” to answer any reasonable question, no matter how asinine.

I'm sorry I am not bringing these points up in person, but I needed some time for my anger to subside and you are not on campus today. Please realize your last email was not only offensive and uncalled for, but the fact that you forwarded it to the entire class was exponentially more insulting, and certainly not in keeping with the respect I had for you up until yesterday.

I look forward to your response,
-Michael Garvey

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Anatomy of a sucky fight sequence

I would have made an excellent action star. Obviously, just like every actor needs to have at least one good baseball movie, no actor worth his knickers can officially retire without one cheesy action flick.

My foray into the action genre would have set a new standard by combining all of the good parts of other good action, shoot-‘em-up movies. Think The Matrix meets The Transporter meets Blade meets Iron Monkey meets Charlie’s Angels, etc.

Don’t worry about plot; I’m more concerned with the action movie’s fight scene. You know the one – the ninjas or robot foot soldiers or Joker’s henchmen or whatever think they’ve taken the hero (me) by surprise, but actually I had been forewarned by my friend and mentor crusty old man who can still kick ass (maybe Brian Dennehy or Bob Hoskins). Naturally, the enemy elite were able to capture my whippersnapper self-appointed side kick (Shia LeBeouf, Topher Grace, or better yet, Audrey Tautou). As is the rule, Brian would have to say it’s a trap and they’ll be waiting for me. There’d be a close up on my face where I’d crack a smile for the first time in the movie and growl “excellent…” Cue techno music.

I was thinking something like Velocity Shift from Overseer or really anything by the Chemical Brothers. It would start right before the mandatory equipment preparations montage. Pistols? Check. Throwing stars? Check. Sunglasses? A must.

Back to the captors and young Audrey. They laugh maniacally, but only until I dropped in through the skylight, or, ohh! Wait! Better yet, I’d round the corner in slow motion, trench coat flapping in the wind, right as Overseer swelled and started playing really fast! Brian’s on a ledge above me, picking off stragglers with a shotgun. At some point, I’d kill a man with a boomerang, just because. Now the music’s really going crazy, as I pull off insane and impossible mid-air flips, punches, and headbutts. I’d have fought my way through the riff-raff, until there’s only the leader (a very buff/suave Tim Roth) and his wrestler-turned-actor body guard (Batista) who, for some reason, I’d have to fight bare-fisted. The leader, of course, I’d have to swordfight.

Add in a car chase, an explosion, comic relief, and a he’s-not-really-dead-he’s-just-in-hiding ending, and you’ve got yourself an excellent rental for shitty movie night.

Monday, May 02, 2005

class of DOH! five

Ah, a rare, but appreciated break in the action. Today, I firmly planted my Strategic Management final project on the professor’s desk. We chatted about what the next semester would bring us – she to Syracuse and me either to Albany or across the street to UB Law. We both admitted our fatigue, spoke highly of each other, shook hands and parted ways. Mike Garvey: “Teacher’s Pet”.

This afternoon, in about a half hour, I have my very last class as a student in the School of Management. I’d be sad if I weren’t so ready for a power nap. Beyond that class, I have two take home finals, two sit-down finals, a write up of today’s presentation (although I’m pretty sure that’s done, no thanks to me) and some grading/research assistant work to do. Then I think it’s high time for another Mantown Day of Sloth. I suppose I should see this Underworld everyone is talking about.

A quick story before I run off to class: most of my courses, especially this semester, focus on lecture, and therefore the exams are mostly going to be made up from the professor’s powerpoint slides/class notes/assigned articles/etc. but not so much from the text. To that end, I can’t say I’ve cracked my Internet Marketing book once this semester – I mean most of that info MUST be supplementary anyway. In our last class, the professor mentioned that a lot of the exam would have to do with the articles found in the book, however, so I figured I might as well read those. It’s a text book, right? Which means mostly text with the occasional sidebar article interspersed for color. Of course, having never even looked at it, I wasn’t sure which few articles to read, so I wrote (lyingly) to the teach:

Hi Professor,
I'm a bit confused as to which reading I should really know for the final. You had mentioned the "articles from the book"—obviously I’ve read the assigned text, but are you referring to the sidebar articles or those downloadable from the website?
-Michael


He answered:

Michael,
You should primarily know those articles in the book.

You could almost hear the “, dumbass…” included on the end there. I opened the book to see how much reading this meant for me, and saw that in fact there is no text, only articles. Chapters full of articles. That the professor now knew I had never looked at in my life. Mike Garvey: “dumbass”.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Probably no "GWAR"

Esther has traditionally been my most appreciative recipient of compilation CDs. She says I have mad skillz when it comes to constructing the perfect disk, and since we share a similar love of rather eclectic music, she makes the perfect audience. This makes sense, since she was instrumental in the development of my musical tastes. Wherein Lisa learned to love Rick Astley from her mom, Esther helped me to escape a life of purely Metallica-driven tastes (a fate so often seen in my school’s peer group) by introducing me to Depeche Mode, Phish, Fresh Prince, The Sugarcubes, 10,000 Maniacs, The Beastie Boys, Dave Matthews Band, The Cure, R.E.M., and to a certain extent, The Barenaked Ladies.

In the past, the mix tapes or comp CDs have been traded unprompted, but this morning, Esther actually broke from tradition and commissioned a work from me. It turns out she’s just getting into her seven thousandth month of pregnancy and would like to take a more soothing, relaxing, but not-too-enya-esque playlist with her into the hospital. (Now, why you wouldn’t want to have Orinoco Flow playing behind your contractions, I’ll never know, but who am I to question such an honorable request? Actually, I imagine if it were me in her position, I’d instead be preparing to sing my own song while in labor, a little tune called “Please, Dear God, Make Them Give Me Drugs”.)

So help me out, everyone. She loves the John Mayer, so there’s one. Iron and Wine is good to snooze to, so if I can find an appropriate tune from them, that might not be a bad idea. Rufus Wainwright had a great rendition of “Hallelujah”, but is he a little too morose for child-bearing? Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions for inclusion/avoidance?