Tuesday, September 06, 2005

sodium tinted toenail polish

Text message from Lisa: “Want to bring us some cheap lunch?”

Text message to Lisa (which I typed without looking, thank you very much): “Yes@ I call soon.”

Class ends, I head for my car, am followed by two other cars who fight over my parking space. I make sure the girl gets it.

En route, I decide “cheap lunch” should be “not so cheap lunch from the Wegmans”. Mmm… California roooooolls…

One roll for me, one for Lisa, one for Cecilia, and enough soy sauce for all of us. Not the little packets, mind you. No I had to get the really good, heated sauce from the Chinese buffet bar. Held precariously in a little plastic cup.

Cashier: “Would you like a separate bag for the soy sauce? It might spill.”
Me: “No, I (I drop it) can (it falls) just (instinct takes over and I try to stop the cup’s descent with my foot) carry (it explodes) it (I regret wearing sandals)… but thanks anyway.”

Now, what the hell? If I drop it, I drop it - why did my brain decide to switch to some primitive impulse, effectively giving me an afternoon stinkfoot? I mean, if it had been my cell phone, which I do drop occasionally, I would have appreciated the hacky-sack action. For some dumbass reason, though, my twisted psyche can recall every word in Cake’s “The Distance” without a milli-micro-second of delay, but it can’t as quickly see that

cushioning an expensive mobile phone = good
dropkicking a flimsy tub of kikkoman = just plain stupid.

The sushi was pretty good though. Man, I love the Wegmans.


lisa said...

Dear Lord, you make me laugh. You're wife is a pretty lucky dame.

Anonymous said...

god i miss wegmans. mmmmmm wegmans.