Tuesday, September 06, 2005

sodium tinted toenail polish

12:30pm:
Text message from Lisa: “Want to bring us some cheap lunch?”

12:32pm:
Text message to Lisa (which I typed without looking, thank you very much): “Yes@ I call soon.”

1:00pm:
Class ends, I head for my car, am followed by two other cars who fight over my parking space. I make sure the girl gets it.

1:05pm:
En route, I decide “cheap lunch” should be “not so cheap lunch from the Wegmans”. Mmm… California roooooolls…

1:15pm:
One roll for me, one for Lisa, one for Cecilia, and enough soy sauce for all of us. Not the little packets, mind you. No I had to get the really good, heated sauce from the Chinese buffet bar. Held precariously in a little plastic cup.

1:16pm:
Cashier: “Would you like a separate bag for the soy sauce? It might spill.”
Me: “No, I (I drop it) can (it falls) just (instinct takes over and I try to stop the cup’s descent with my foot) carry (it explodes) it (I regret wearing sandals)… but thanks anyway.”

Now, what the hell? If I drop it, I drop it - why did my brain decide to switch to some primitive impulse, effectively giving me an afternoon stinkfoot? I mean, if it had been my cell phone, which I do drop occasionally, I would have appreciated the hacky-sack action. For some dumbass reason, though, my twisted psyche can recall every word in Cake’s “The Distance” without a milli-micro-second of delay, but it can’t as quickly see that

cushioning an expensive mobile phone = good
and
dropkicking a flimsy tub of kikkoman = just plain stupid.

The sushi was pretty good though. Man, I love the Wegmans.

2 comments:

lisa said...

Dear Lord, you make me laugh. You're wife is a pretty lucky dame.

Anonymous said...

god i miss wegmans. mmmmmm wegmans.