Monday, January 09, 2006

egg-xacting justice

Karma, you’re an assclown.  But then again, just by nature, I guess I deserved it. 

Picture it: a summer night in 1990.  Three country boys, high on oreos, mountain dew, and the prospective mischief afforded those forward thinking bastards who were sneaky enough to buy a package of water balloons earlier that day.  MWA-HA-HA, indeed.  I don't know if you knew this about me, but my friends and I were the first ever to think up "throwing water balloons at cars".  Seriously!  We were so totally original. 

Our plan was simple enough.  The three of us knew the backwoods behind Danny's house better than anyone, so in the rare event that we pegged a car and that guy jumped out and came at us quijibo-style, we could disappear like ninjas.  Ninjas, however, are usually smart enough not to toss their ninja weapons from the brush in front of one of their member's parents' house.  Turns out drivers usually don't stop and chase after the vandals, but rather, they’ll stop and tell on them to the adults in charge.  

So, yeah, I figured I paid my dues back then, what with Danny’s parents making us go to bed before we could watch whichever bond movie we’d decided on for that night, but Karma (assclown) decided otherwise.  The other night, I was getting off the 198 and onto Delaware Ave and Karma magically re-routed one of the water balloons I’d thrown back in 1990 into the future, turned it into an egg, and aimed it smack onto the side of my Lumina.  Yes, someone hit my car with an egg.  

That’s payback with interest.

7 comments:

R said...

I'd hate to see what a reincarnated wedgie looks like...

Peter said...

Apparently Greg has been having vehicular egg problems. Maybe there is someone we all know, systematically targeting us. Who will be next? And who is it? Probably Dave Hoffmann.

Greg said...

It's true. I thought my obsessed fan had gotten help, but I found egg on my truck again Saturday for the first time since the summer. At least the top was up this time.

Esther said...

Haha. You're old. They were probably aiming for your NPR bumper sticker.

Garvey said...

Flibberty-floo!

Greg, my drive-by egging happened on Friday night, so maybe it's related. I did end up calling the cops, but just to give them a heads-up. They called me old and told me to take my doans back pills and go to bed early.

hoffmann said...

peter, you're confused. I throw cars at eggs, not the other way around.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to hold my breath and begin stomping my foot until you post something new.