Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I make for you the mix.

I mowed for the first time in forfuckingever yesterday. I was so excited to be out and about on a Deere that I forgot my sunglasses. I forgot sunscreen. I forgot water. And I forgot tunes. Not that any of it mattered, mind you. I was in nirvana as soon as I pulled The Lawn Beast from its hidey hole in dad’s garage. She purred like a rhino.

Anyway, screw the sunburn, melted corneas, and dehydration. I really missed music. I’d hummed In the Summertime to myself so many times by my second half hour out there, I think Mungo Jerry was trying to contact me from beyond the grave, just to tell me to shut the hell up. (Update: Reports of Mungo Jerry's death have been greatly exagerated. And by "Reports of" I mean "Blogging without first checking wikipedia regarding". And by "greatly exagerated", I mean, "used". Turns out he's not even a guy, he's a band. I wonder if Mr. Jethro Tull knows about this.)

I’ve stumbled across a lot of good music lately (though I notice my tastes are really leaning towards “quirky” these days), and I started to think about a summertime playlist. Here’re a few to get going:

  1. Mungo Jerry, In the Summertime – Just can’t get the damn thing out of my head now.

  2. Gabin, Bang Bang to the Rock’N’Roll – one of many songs that’ll be on this list that are completely unintelligible. I mean, c’mon. None of these lyrics make sense anyway.

  3. Mates of State, Punchlines Sarah turned me on to these guys and I just can’t get enough now. Punchlines has the best ending, thus living up to its name.

  4. Super Furry Animals, Zoom – weird. Good weird.

  5. Chris Joss, You’ve Been Spiked – Also weird. This is an AOL Music DJ Session, believe it or not, but it’s all based on Thievery Corporation stuff.

  6. Ursula 1000, Funky Bikini – listen to this song twice and you’ll want to listen to it ten more times.

  7. Groove Armada, At the River – a lot of these songs came from a cd I made to sleep to, so there is going to be a lot of downtempo stuff. I only have a very limited knowledge of the genre, but besides Lemon Jelly, I think Groove Armada does it best.

  8. Violent Femmes, I Like American Music – outgrabes turned me on to Gnarls Barkley (ooh, they need to be on this list too). They cover a Femmes song. It got me thinking about American Music, which is one of my favorites.

  9. Gnarls Barkley, Crazy – or Gone Daddy Gone, which is the Femmes cover I was talking about a half inch above. ‘grabes already blogged these guys, but I don’t think I’m surprising anyone with anything new today.

  10. KT Tunstall, Black Horse And The Cherry Tree – shut up. We’re allowed some embarrassing crap every so often. At least I’m not admitting to my Teddy Geiger fascination.

  11. LCD Soundsystems, Daft Punk is Playing at My House – I heard this song, drunk, at a bachelor party and forced my brain to remember it. I forgot it, but was reminded a few days later when I found the video, which is equally odd.

  12. Sparks, (Baby, Baby) Can I Invade Your Country? – I told you there was going to be quirky here.

  13. Eagle*Seagull, Your Beauty is a Knife I Turn On My Throat – I got this one from Thursday Java a few weeks ago. Most of these are directly stolen from her playlists or other shows like hers. Here’s another:

  14. Erland Oye, Every Party Has A Winner And A Loser – not all of his stuff is so laid back, but this was a welcome addition to my napping mix. I also heard it on http://www.helpmechill.com/.

  15. Willie Nelson, Stardust – picked this one up from an episode of Taxicab Confessions. I’m not an active Nelson fan or anything, but I liked this tune.

  16. Kaiser Chiefs, Everyday I Love You Less and Less – forgot where I found this, but good jorb.

  17. And last for now, Raconteurs, Steady As She Goes – Yeah, it’s the single soon to be overplayed on the radio, but it’s my favorite on the disk anyway. Don’t listen to this if you’re looking for the White Stripes sound, but instead take it at face value, and enjoy it before The Man runs it into the ground through constant repetition.

Here’s a rhaplink for easy access. Does iTunes have blog-able playlists? They should.

Monday, May 29, 2006

This weekend:

I did not see X-men.
I did mow a lawn.
I did not get to a bachelor party.
I did go to three different Memorial Day parties.
I did not work on my casenote.
I did watch Band of Brothers.
I did not get sick.
I did play with my niece, who did get sick.
I did not get any more grades.
I did get a glider, a chaise lounge, and an exercise bike.
I did not go swimming.
I did dip my feet in the pool.
I did not learn a new language.
I did help in four furniture movings.

I did not have the energy to write a proper blog post.
I did have plenty to write about.  

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Fine then.

We'll just win it in seven.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

And not just in honor of the patriotic weekend.

A brother of a friend of a wife of mine is a new reader. What does that make us? Absolutely nothing, except that I help him kill time by writing about whatever I want to, and he defends a way of life that lets a schmuck like me write about whatever I want to.


A shout out to you know who in you know where. Semper Fi, keep safe, and bring me a souvenir.

Shut up, Carolina.

Louis and I went to the Sabres game last night.  And on a similar topic, ow, my throat.  

We won, in case you’re a pinko commie and didn’t know that.

Have you ever been to a playoff game?  I hadn’t until last night.  It’s a different world, this post-season business, and that’s probably a good thing.  If Buffalonians consciously decided to attend each and every regular season game maintaining the same fervor with which they attacked last night’s match, they would be dead from exhaustion and liver failure by Thanksgiving.  

The air, the very spirit of the arena, is charged with a talkin’ proud aura.  It doesn’t help Carolina that both teams are boringly girded in red, white, and black, but Louis tells me that there were probably only a handful of ‘Canes fans in the crowd anyway.  

The energy began to peak nearly a quarter hour before the puck even dropped.  I mean, hooting and cheering was constant from the parking ramp through to our seats starting well before that, but the crowd merged, becoming one frantic sound while the counter was just reaching 12 minutes to game time.  I ordered a crack beer and joined the ranks.  I think I scared Louis.  Even this early, my mind and voicebox were giving each other nervous, what-have-we-gotten-ourselves-into glances.

I’m always amazed that tens of thousands of people can act in concert with each other during these things.  Is the human mind given instruction in utero on what pitch one should yell “GASP-AAAWW!” when a shot is missed?  If we could just get congress to take to their jobs with the same attention that hockey fans watch their favorite team, imagine how quickly things would get done.  “And a motion is raised; it’s seconded by the representative from New Hampshire, AND IT’S PASSED!  THE CROWD GOES WILD!”

Anyway, when the Sabres scored, noise went white.  Levels reached such heights that they ceased being sounds perceived by the ear, but rather sonic vibrations felt by the most protected of internal organs.  Minutes later, after high fives from strangers, and hugs from costumed mascots, the noise levels eased to the point where you realized you’d instinctively bleated right along with the rest of the crowd.  Shouts turned to laughter, songs of praise, and hearty backslaps to neighbors who obviously worked just as hard in the stands as the most fatigued athlete on the ice.  

A few notes:
  • There was a big, greasy looking guy in front of us, so whenever we scored, Louis and I would say the goal was “HUUUUUGE, BUFFALO, ‘UUUUUUUUGE!”

  • God, I love HSBC arena beer.

  • I took a few camera pics, but they didn’t turn out.  Do a google image search for “awesome” and I’m sure you’ll find some good ones of us.  (Wow, did I just replace the age-old saying of “look ___ up in the dictionary and you’ll find a picture of ___”?)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Good thing it doesn't say "kick me."

A few days ago, I decided to play mushy-husband, and I left a bunch of notes taped to Lisa’s stuff before I left for school.  Nothing Pulitzer-winning, mind you.  The note on her tooth brush said “I love Lisa’s smile.”  You know, dorky stuff that earns me huge points.

Anyway, I would never share this with any of you, but Lisa, through her hurried frenzy to make it to work on time, has necessitated my confession.  Until a few minutes ago, two notes remained unfound.  One was taped to her sunglasses, saying something like “Lisa caught my eye.”  Or “Lisa has great eyes.”  Or “Dammit, woman, can’t you see I’m hungry?  Make me a sandwich.”  I forget.  (I’ll tell you about the other one when she finds it.  Someday.)

Anyway, as she was leaving, I decided to push her in the right direction.  “Sure is bright outside, don’t forget your sunglasses.”  I waited for her exclamation from the other room, but instead she ran in, WEARING THEM, gave me a kiss goodbye, and ran out.  You could see the note poking up from behind her right ear.  

I bit my tongue to stifle a laugh.  

UPDATE: Of course, now I’m wondering how a) effective her rear-view mirror is and b) evil her co-workers are, because it’s already well into her shift and I haven’t gotten a call from her.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

4, again.

Okay, I’ve now been tagged twice to do this. I think it went around last year, but it was only for THREE things then. Pftht... inflation.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. sandwich artist
2. tutor (Shakespeare lit, writing & composition, and logic)
3. audience member for Judge Joe Brown
4. bouncer. No, seriously.

Four movies I could watch over and over:
There aren’t any. I’d even get tired of watching, for instance, Amadeus, The Iron Giant, Young Frankenstein, or Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

Four places I have lived:
1. Mississippi
2. Western New York
3. Chicago
4. Albany NY, if only for two weeks.

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Dinner for Five
2. Cowboy Bebop
3. Robot Chicken
4. The Office
Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Italy
2. Canadia
3. Alaska
4. my apartment

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Lexis Nexis
2. my counter stats
3. many much blogs
4. If we’re lying, then “cnn.com.” If we’re truthful, then “porn.”

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Lisa’s Cheesy Chicken
2. Meatloaf
3. Mighty Taco’s BBQ Beef
4. Werthers Originals

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Anywhere in Ireland. I’ve never been.
2. Brussels. Nicest people, best chocolate, and a statue of a boy peeing.
3. Alsace. To meet my family and eat some of their cheese.
4. Xanth or Alefgard. Whichever is nerdier.

Four friends who I've tagged that I think will respond:
I hereby tag everyone in the world.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Nope, just hardly working, really.

The 2006 Buffalo Law Review Casenotes Competition started at 9:32am this morning.  It is now 11:34am and I’m proud to report that in the last two hours I have completed exactly ten hours worth of nothing.  My skills at producing nothing exceed even those of the greatest procrastinators of our day.

A casenote is essentially an in-depth analysis of a recent appellate decision.  I have 240 hours (minus my two hours of nothing this morning) to write 8 pages about how my assigned case was decided, why was it decided as such, and how that decision will affect the world going forward.  Let’s say I’m given a case which holds monkeys are not allowed to wear hats of any kind.  The first few pages would discuss this case in general, involving a monkey with a pith-hat-related injury, and how the moron judges came to that holding.  Then I’d talk about cases leading up to it.  How did the landmark 1974 decision in Bobo BananaPants v. American Millinery, Inc. affect the outcome of my case?  Have any scholarly publications discussed the ramifications of this decision?  Perhaps in the Monkey Headwear Journal of America?  

The last few pages would be about “going forward”.  How will this law affect future generations of cold-headed primates?  Will I be forced to change my fez-wearing blog icon once again?  That kind of stuff.  

So now that that’s all laid out, I should say I’ve done more to outline my strategy in blog form than I have for my actual competition.  I can’t talk about the case I really got, because that would be cheating and lawyers are nothing if not ethical rule-observers.  I will tell you the best way to start your morning if you’re following the Mike Garvey School of Casenotes Writing:

  1. pick up casenotes packet.

  2. find best seat in library.  Keep in mind: proximity to printer; proximity to loud undergrads; proximity to bathroom.

  3. move to other seat because you forgot to consider proximity to electrical outlet.

  4. turn on computer.  Jump to cover speakers when “start up sound” volume has somehow been turned up to “jet engine” level decibels.

  5. check hotmail email account.

  6. check school email account.

  7. check aol email account.

  8. check myspace.

  9. check facebook.

  10. repeat steps 5-9 ad infinitum, since someone could have written in the time it took you to make a complete circuit.

  11. put on computer headphones.  Turn on itunes.

  12. sign onto instant messenger.  Check everyone’s away messages.  Sign off again, because you really need to get to work.

  13. read blogs.

  14. fast forward itunes.  Why the hell do you have Bad, Bad Leroy Brown on your computer?

  15. go to bathroom.

  16. come back, move to yet another seat because you also forgot to consider comfort of seat.  Not too comfy or you’ll fall asleep.  Not too stiff or you’ll have a sore butt after a full day of diligent work.  Speaking of which, time to get to work.

  17. continue reading blogs.

  18. repeat steps 5-10.

  19. print out your case.  Ah-hah!  Now you’re getting somewhere!

  20. blog about it.

  21. go back to Bad, Bad Leroy Brown, since you have it going through your mind now anyway.

  22. check voicemail.  Wonder if it’s too early to call Esther and bitch about how hard the casenotes competition is.

  23. baddest man in the whole damn town...

  24. admire new monkey icon, chuckle to self about the name “Bobo BananaPants”, remember how that relates to example of present case, decide to start reading present case, instead look through bag for gum.

  25. repeat steps 5-10.

  26. wonder if Leroy ever filed suit against his attacker for battery.  He did, after all, look like a jigsaw puzzle with a couple pieces gone after a jealous husband learned him a lesson.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Yes, I missed you too.

Man, where to start?  Well, first, thanks to everyone who did blog over the last two weeks.  You were instrumental in my procrastinating.  Thanks to the new, thanks to the old.

Second, exams went well enough.  Usually, at this point, I’d say “at least they’re over”, but unfortunately that’s not how it works with law school.  In college, I could waltz in to any exam, hungover and unprepared, and bullshit my way through to a C or even a B.  now, the bullshit was piled high and deep on my law school tests, but I was actually expected to know the material as well.  Imagine, the nerve of these professors, expecting me to know the law!

Second, subsection one: I got a B+ in criminal law.  It’s the only grade I’ve gotten so far.  I have no idea what the class average was, but I’m pretty sure this was above the curve.  I’m also pretty sure he mixed up my test with Martin Prince’s.  Sorry, Martin.  

Next, Lisa’s grandfather died last week.  I was awarded Asshole Of The Afternoon when Lisa called to tell me, but I dominated the first part of the conversation with how much my life as an exam-taker sucks.  Lisa and her family seem to be doing okay, though.  He’d lived a full, long life, and I overheard more than once at the wake that this was a “good way to go”.  The man owned a sword, a cape, and a fez (which, in my world, comes from a fez dispenser), and was surrounded by generations of loving family.  If I can make these claims when I check out at 91, I’ll consider it a good way to go, too.

And last-ish, a general word of thanks to everyone who waited patiently and offered help throughout exam season.  I’m back, though, and ready to go out with you for a drink.  You have two months as of today.  Aaaaand, go!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Well we can't salute ya.

Done with my last exam. My writing hand hurts from excessive bullshitting. Details to follow, once I wake up.

In the meantime, check out my new blogging friends:

Silly rabbit... (the blog!)
One piece at a time...
The Daily Blurb
Media Ninja

And thanks to Scott, whose auditory suggestion helped me to chill a bit. Go hear if you need the same.

Update: oops, I screwed up something with the links, so Aly's blog didn't show up on the first posting attempt. My apologies to her and her pieces.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

What do these men have in common?


  1. They all, at some point, passed their first year law school exams.
  2. None of them had blogs.

Looks like it’s about that time.

My first exam isn’t until Thursday, the 11th, then I have another on the 16th, and the last (the final final) is on the 18th. They’re all going to suck, but if I fail, it won’t be from a lack of prep work in the library. Which is where looking “like it’s about that time” comes in.

No one wants to read this for the next two weeks:

Hi everyone! Exams blow! I’m studying hard, and boy I sure could use a little more coffee! Does anyone have any good music to listen to? You know the funny thing about Buffalo radio? Blah blah blah...

So as much as I hate to risk losing the three of you who actually read the RT, I’m going on yet another hiatus until all this exam nonsense blows over. I might ask some of my more intelligent friends to guest-blog for me, so check back every so often and see what people I consider to be both “more intelligent” and “friends” have to say.

See you in a few...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I lose more puddytats that way.

I don't care how bad a day you're having (and I know some of us are having a really, really bad day), cats jumping into walls is good for whatever ails you.




Chin up, everyone.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Coincidence that my first born comes right after this hits theaters?

BA Start keyed me into THE trailer.

I REFUSE TO GET EXCITED.
He does cut a good Clark Kent though.
I WILL NOT LET MY HOPES GET TOO HIGH.
Man, Spacey makes a good Lex Luthor.
I CANNOT HOPE TO LIKE A MOVIE THAT HAS MADE LOIS LANE A SINGLE MOM.
But did you hear the music???
IT WILL SUCK.
But the music!
NO!
Yes!
THE MOVIE CAN’T POSSIBLY LIVE UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS.
See you in line on June 30th.

One ringy-dingy...

I got a call this morning from, according to my caller ID, Mr. Restricted Number.  Here’s roughly how it went:

ME: Hello? (then I coughed because I was eating oatmeal.  Don’t ever eat oatmeal and answer the phone.  They don’t mix.)
RN: Hi Mike.  I was wondering if you could cut down some tree limbs for me today.  
ME: Ah, maybe.  Who is this now?
RN: Frank Zappa*. We spoke last week about getting to a few trees on my property.
ME: There it is.  I think you’ve got the wrong number.  
RN:  Really?  This isn’t Mike Marion? The City of Buffalo Guy In Charge of Cutting Down Tree Limbs**?
ME: Nope, just plain ol’ Mike.  I don’t even have a chain saw.
RN: This isn’t 848-9375***?
ME: Ha.  Nope, it’s 613-2290***.  Good luck with your trees though.
RN: Sorry about that.  (hangs up.)

Then, in scene two, after I told Lisa about how the guy didn’t even get the number remotely right:

LISA: Ha!  Maybe his cat dialed for him?
ME: Hee-hee!  Maybe his phone was upside-down without him knowing?
LISA: Maybe his preferred dialing method is by simply throwing jelly beans at the keypad and hoping for the best?
ME: Maybe someone bumped his chair seven times?
LISA:  Haha!  Good thing we’re so perfect.
ME:  Agreed.  More oatmeal?


* Name changed to protect the identity of the caller.  Also, I don’t remember it.  
** I also don’t remember the title he rattled off.  This was essentially it.  Note that he got my first name right, though.  Confusion abounds!
*** Number changed to protect me.  Suffice it to say he wasn’t even close.

Monday, May 01, 2006

I win!

I have the best wife, EVER, by the way.  

I was blown away yesterday when she bought me two, count ‘em, TWO Justice League comic books, and then made me chiavetta's chicken for dinner.

If you’re a comic book nerd and you haven’t checked out Alex Ross’s new series, Justice, then do so.  His superman is definitive.  

Also, if you’re a chicken nerd and you haven’t checked out chiavetta’s, then do so.  Their marinade is delicious.  

Also again, if you’re an awesome wife nerd and you haven’t yet married Lisa, then too late, suckah!