Monday, June 26, 2006

Old Fogey Garvey makes an appearance

You kids and your technologies these days. Here’s where you’re wrong. Here’s where you all went wrong:
  1. If you insist on making my phone of the “flip” variety, don’t put any fucking buttons on the outside of the fucking phone. And get offa my land.

  2. Hotmail. Why do you ask me if I want to “Report all selected messages as Junk E-Mail” when I’m deleting them from my junk email folder? Shouldn’t this message come up if I delete something out of my inbox instead? Dur.

  3. Adelphia DVR, except for your primary purpose of letting me record live TV, you have never done anything right, ever. Please use some of the kajillion dollars I have paid for you and invest in some user-friendliness.

  4. Rhapsody, your heart was in the right place once, so I’m told. Why do you have to be so addicting and at the same time so completely buggy? And why don’t you call your mother more often?

  5. Back to cell phones, you whippersnappers. You must learn to trust us, the consumers. I think I speak for all of us, or at least everyone at my senior community center, when I promise that I can say “please leave a message after the beep” all by myself. Your phone bitch is useless. USELESS!

  6. We can put a man on the moon. We can make ice cream with cake in it. We have amazing technology at our disposal. Can’t we use some of it to time traffic lights better?

  7. Tom, I promise, hiring one legitimate web developer won’t scare away all your kiddie porn monger Myspace friends.

  8. To the rest of you young’ns: don’t be afraid of your blinker, don’t be afraid to use punctuation in email/IMs/TMs, don’t tailgate, mute your damnass computer when you’re in class, don’t make fun of my dentures, etc. etc. etc
Care for a hard candy?

1 comment:

aly said...

looking at old fogey garvey's beard? that's a paddlin'.

reading mike's blog? that's definitely a paddlin'.