Monday, April 30, 2007

You may now uncross your fingers. Thank you for your time and effort.

Friday 4/20/2007 4pm: I was offered this job. Tears of happiness ensued.
Friday 4/27/2007 1pm: That offer was rescinded. Tears of scared-shitlessness arose.
Friday 4/27/2007 2pm: I was offered a job with a bigger firm for more money. Tears of utter relief resulted.
Monday 4/30/2007 12pm: I was offered a better job than I could hope for with a third company. Tears of pain and embarrasment followed. Not immediately, mind you, but only after I did the happy dance and stubbed my toe.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Sirens spotted in Florida

Hi from eff-ell-ay! I'm stealing a wireless signal!

Wireless... signal... so low...
Must... blog... cute pictures...

As of this morning, my daughter has been in the Atlantic Ocean. Technically, she’s been in the Gulf of Mexico, I guess, but they’re both the same big bowl of whale pee.

Here’s a pic of the general process:

Maeve was wearing pants that said “cute catch!” on the fanny.

We only got her tootsies dipped in the waves, but she seemed to like it. Her Nana was a true child of the Gulf, so Maeve has beach sand running through her veins. That said, though, her love of swimming (the pool at the Y, the pool here in Florida, the bathtub, etc.) is preternatural.

You can see by her curling toes, she seemed to like the sand too, I guess.

Maeve and her Gramma:

My wife is so beautiful. She makes my heart beat faster.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Keep your plants away from it.

You know, I did feel a little out of it last time I went to Serbia.

Kryptonite discovered...

Monday, April 23, 2007

I saw it in the window and knew I just had to eat it.

I learned today that 23 percent of supermarket cake purchases are impulse-driven. (Center Store Progressive Grocer November 2006, if you're curious.)

For every three people who are thinking ahead to their kid’s birthday, there’s one walking around Wegman’s, thinking “What do I want? Whaaaaaaat do I feel like for lunch today? Why yes, I think I would like a cake this afternoon, thank you very much!”


Friday, April 20, 2007

Getting a handel on things

I got a job offer today.
Might not be the one I end up taking.
But I got a job offer today.
And so...

(video courtesy of Uncle Neil.)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tuesdays with Snore-y

Tuesdays are rough for me. Class from 8 to 9:30, work from 9:45 to 5, class from 6 to 9. That works out to a fourteen hour day (with travel time), and since Maeve is usually still asleep before I leave and back to bed before I get home, that also works out to 36 hours without any real daddy/daughter q-t. Suckola.

Lisa, who is off today, is not unsympathetic. She said Maeve has been asking about me all day and even sent me a quick “hey there!” via her cell phone camera:

Updates on our top stories:

I’m getting interviews for summer clerkships, so I’m feeling a liiiiiittle bit better about my occupational outlook. One jobby job in particular has me drooling (blogging etiquette keeps me from naming names, but let’s just say this company is the cream of the crop), so keep those fingers crossed for me.

I also got most of the classes I want for Fall, so there’s that. Even a colonial American history class, so thank God for that liberal arts education the Jesuits gave me.

I’m up a pound. I blame Lisa and her deep dish monstrosities.

Monday, April 16, 2007

"What's Errol Flynn got that you haven't got?"

Anyone else want to get geeked out over this?

I know, I know. I’ve said I’m not going to start a new series, but this one is BBC, who deserves the benefit of the doubt. FOX, which seems determined to run a show into the ground by switching around the schedule (please see “Firefly”), making silly demands of the writers/producers (please see “Arrested Development”), and just generally sucking wind (please see “anything on FOX at the moment”), deserves no such benefit.

And besides, they haven’t revealed Friar Tuck yet, so you know people are going to watch just to see who will play him. An unmasked Merry Man is like the British Ross and Rachel.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

This library brought to you by the makers of Blockbuster Video

When I was in Mr. Robertson’s third grade class, I borrowed from the library a copy of the BFG by Raold Dahl. I didn’t return it until I was in Mr. Hoover’s fifth grade class. At the end of third grade, when the librarian repo lady cam a-knockin’, I ducked and weaved my way through the last day of school (someday I’ll share with my elementary school readers all of my tactics - you can look forward to 101 Uses For A Bathroom Pass and the like) so I never had to confront the man over my sin. Partly, this was because I’d lost the book. Mostly, this was because I was terrified of the million dollar fine I’d have to pay.

Of course mom eventually found BFG and handed it in. There was a fine. It’ was 85 cents. Two years of hiding like a despised criminal over 85 frickin’ cents.

Today I realized I was almost two weeks overdue on a book I checked out of the law school library. (Lawyer Advertising At the Crossroads – published in December 1995, checked out ZERO TIMES BEFORE I GOT IT since then.) My fine? $6.50.

So, to sum up:

-Fine for one of the best children’s books ever written, kept past due for two years: $0.85
-Fine for a 150 page snorefest seen by no more than ONE student in the last 12 years, kept past due for 13 days (from an institution kept in business by my tuition dollars): $6.50

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

one large pizza, hold the presses.

I just opened up a “new post” window to tell a story, but then decided my version of the story wasn’t really interesting or funny. Also, I could have been accused of plagiarizing defective yeti.

But who am I to waste an open “new post” window? Here’s a pic for you:

Lisa made me a deep dish pizza the other night in a pan that Louis gave me when I moved home from Chicago. I had hoped to photo-log the whole experience but as soon as it came out of the oven my primal instincts took over and that poor pizza never saw it coming. This grainy pic taken by some unlucky bystander’s phone is the only proof the pie ever existed.

(By the way, I’m much better today. That sense of impending dread continues, but at least I can put a face on it now. The end of the semester has always freaked me out a little—this one is just hitting me a little earlier and a lot harder. Maybe it’s because I’m coming up on my last summer break ever. *Shudder*… How have you other 29 year olds done it for so long? I’d go for one more degree, but I’d be too afraid to have my mid-life crisis on the exact moment I’m receiving my diploma.)

Monday, April 09, 2007

post-cadbury egg jitters

Today is weird. Yesterday was great. Saturday was great. Friday was great. Today is just… off. A little.

It’s kind of like my body/mind have been in constant flux between fight and flight. Like my spidey sense is tingling. The knife-wielding madman is right around the next corner and shouts from the audience are just making me paranoid. Maybe it’s because I watched Soprano’s last night. The green numbers from my alarm clock had to keep me company late into the night, between dreams about hit-men and Laundromats.

Spellcheck is telling me “Laundromats” should be capitalized. Like Zippo, Xerox, and Madonna. Spellcheck is also telling me “spellcheck” is not a word. Screw you, spellchek.

I think we can chalk it all up to general stress. I’m a month out from the end of the semester, big class projects are coming due, I’m looking for summer employment, piles of reading, tests, parenting, job, toyboxcellence, money, job, parties attended to the detriment of grades, studying done to the detriment of a social life, and holy shit can someone do something about these radio stations in Buffalo? I mean REALLY? DOES FAITH HILL OWN YOU???

Okay, simmer. Let’s count blessings. 1. Yes, I miss Maeve, but Maeve exists and couldn’t be awesomer. We’ll post pics from this past weekend soon enough. 2. Entourage. 3. We’re not in Albany. 4. A promising job lead has me incredibly excited. I sent out a half dozen resumes this past weekend, just in case. 5. Sirius Radio.


Wednesday, April 04, 2007

More of Nothin’, The Hyperlinked Edition

Well well. Here we are. Back again. Look at that. Onward we go.

Let’s get on the same page. Here’s what’s the haps. Or rather, here’s what the haps have been, such as they were/are, continuing from my last post’s numbering (which was {gasp!} two weeks ago??? What am I, Bryan?):

9. Scary Big Work Project. I can’t tell you much about this since I’ve been sworn to secrecy by the Work Powers That Be. But suffice it to say that I played a major role in a major event for my employer last Saturday, and escape with few injuries. Usually, I’m little more than “support” at these things. I do grunt work. Heavy-lifting. Strong-arming. Complimentary-refreshment-mooching. But this year I was given an unexpected and unavoidable promotion about a week before. I was so far up the ladder, I was given a walkie-talkie and a frickin’ golf cart. Seriously.

Anyway, it’s over; it went well; I was given numerous pats on my back. And then I slept for a day.

10. The weather museum is still in the works and is still cirrus-ly lame.

11. I’m getting through all of your blogs. You are all funnier and more interesting than I am, by the way. And if you ant some Maeve news, fercrissake’s, look at this comparison.

12. Speaking of other bloggers, you might be funnier, but I’m famouser. Anyone pick up the Buffalo Spree this month? You might see an article on the best Buffalo restaurants. You might read about gardening, or the ice-boom, or Duke Ellington. But if you’re lucky, you might just see yours truly mentioned in an article about the Buffalo Blog Party, courtesy the lovely and talented Jennifer “Jen14221” Wutz-Lopes.

Hello to anyone who’s linked over from the Spree website, by the way. Stay awhile. Bitch about Buffalo Radio. Tell me about your Rob Ray sightings. Share in my grief over the loss of Studio 60.

13. The article talks about my Commitment Toyboxcellence, which unfortunately has been relegated to the back burner during the last month or so. I should say it’s because I’ve been far too busy, but I won’t say that because it’s simply not true. The truth is that I love Mighty Taco far too much, so weight loss has been slow. As of April 1, I lost ten pounds, or a little less than 5% of my body weight. I was shooting for 10%, so way to go half-assedness!

14. Summer job. Still looking. Need a smrt law clerk for May through August? I’m your man. I’m excellent at research, legal writing, I’m punctual… and I’ll bring you mighty taco for lunch whenev.