Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Mikethuselah

I’ve been fighting it for awhile now, but it’s becoming a tough battle to survive. Your Mike Garvey is getting damned old.

I’ve always had really good eyesight. Years of Nintendo strengthened these rods and cones into what is far and away my most powerful sense. (Disclaimer: I have no idea what rods and cones do.) (Heh-heh. “Rods” and “cones”.) But all that has been thrown into turmoil during the last few years of (blech) reading. So...

Your Mike Garvey is getting reading glasses.

I’d never really had an eye test before, aside from the government mandated nonsense they gave you back in grade school. (Government efficiency at its best can diagnose your eyesight, measure the curve of your spine, rule out foot warts, and verify that you still can’t do a single damn pull-up in the same 50 minute period.) But I’ve been getting slight headaches after long days in the library reading about the law or on the internet looking at porn I mean the law, so off to the eye doc I went.

All I knew about eye exams was that they’d at some point make me read a Bazooka Joe comic printed on a grain of rice from across the room and at some other point they’d blow a puff of air right on my eye spheres. Right on these rods and cones.

After all that, it turns out I’m pretty heavily farsighted. So I got a chuckle out of Bazooka Joe, but need reading glasses anyway. Here’s a pic of the ones I chose. A little too Lisa Loeb and not enough Clark Kent, but I’m excited about them regardless:


As if that’s not enough, look what I found. Yeah that’s right. I’m turning thirty in 171 days, I’m about to get glasses, and I found my first white beard hair:

Your Mike Garvey is getting damned old.

4 comments:

Hoffmann said...

Good news! Eyeglasses (which I also got in law school) are a very useful prop - I recommend yanking them off in disgust during cross examination (generally while asking a question that begins "Do you expect the jury to believe..."). And white hair isn't bad. At least we aren't bald.

Megan said...

love the glasses...LOVE them!

Anonymous said...

Believe me Mike, your not old. Geting old isn't finding a gray hair in your beard...it's when you find it in another place...that's when you are officially old. Did I mention that that is when you are officially old? But I repeat myself..again,
UB

Scott said...

Can I call you Clark?