Friday, August 29, 2008

Nature called and then wouldn't hang the eff up.

Dads blogging about their babies’ poops is as natural as babies pooping. In both cases, of course, shit happens.

Addie stayed home with me today because, despite a healthy diet of fiber-ridden, doodie-inducing juices, fruits and veggies, she’s been a little backed up. For like... a few days.

About 8am this morning, did anyone else feel the shock-wave? The nearby houses melted and blew away, like in those movies where they test atomic bombs, so I assume most of you as far away as the suburbs at least saw the poop-tinted mushroom cloud.

Subsequently, here’s the text message conversation I had with Lisa, who was at work:
Me: POOPSPLOSION!
Lisa: YAYAYAYAY! Is she feeling better?
Me: Like a cute little baby pig in poop. She was singing “I Can See Clearly Now” when I found her.
Lisa: Oh thank God. I was so worried.

Yet another TMed conversation at about 11am:
Me: POOPVALANCH!
Lisa: Whoa. Again? Really?
Me: Yeah, another healthy one. The color of evil, the consistency of sin, but the demons have been expelled.
Lisa: Have fun with that, Mr. Mom. Sucker.

And lastly, at 3pm:
Me: POOPNAMI!
Lisa: Is that supposed to be like a tsunami? You’re a better parent than you are a scatological punster.
Me: What can I say? It’s my duty.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

My good friend, Herr N. Nau

Okay, reset.

You heard me, reset. That was me, hitting the reset button and wiping the slate clean. Reset reset RESET.

See, there was just too much to talk about from this past summer. Even in the last month, so many blogables happened. It seems like every frickin’ time I think about posting, twenty things would vie in my mind for subject matter. They were all important, and all deserved their own posts, but if I’m going to start writing again... well... re to the set.

Instead, here’s a little post about what’s the haps right now.

Right now, and for five more glorious and fun-filled days, it’s still summer vacation for me. August, 2008 was exactly what I needed after the New York State Bar, complete with a trip to NYC, another to BOS, and quite a few to FF. I’m happy to report that my lovely girls still remember me, and any lack of blogging you’ve found here, well, you can blame mostly on them. The little ragamuffins.

Right now, I’m getting ready to start a new chapter in my life, Chapter XXVIIVXML: Mike Garvey Becomes Less Of A Leach On Society And Starts A Jobby Job. I’m not sure how much I can share here, but here are the important parts: It’s a job. With a paycheck. It’s in Buffalo. I get to be a lawyer.

Right now, some of my friends are preggers! Yay M! Yay Michele! Yay other friends who have told me they’re pregnant but I’m honestly not sure if it’s still a secret or not! I couldn’t be happier for you. You’re about to fall madly in love with a new person/people. You’re about to find new realms of happiness you didn’t know existed. You’re about to never sleep again, neener neener.

Right now, Lisa, Maeve, Addie and I are looking for houses. Not that Maeve and Addie are any good at it. They just drool on stuff and look cute. The little ragamuffins.

Right now, I’m watching that new reality show about democrats. I totally called the Obama/Biden hookup, like, at the beginning of this season. Also? Lo and Audrina will work it out, don’t worry.

Right now, I’ve blogged enough. At least this should suffice for all those petitions going around. And because my mom makes fun of me for not blogging. And because it’s time for bed.


Until I post again, here are some pictures for your optical pleasures:

Maeve is surprisingly advanced at Living Room Carboard Box Battleship War. She's feisty.


Addie cheered us on from a pillow (aka, "Switzerland"):


It was the craziest thing. Nana and Julia broke into song while we were out getting hot dogs this one night. "HOT DOGS! THIS IS THE MUSICAL ABOUT HOOOOOT DOOOOOOGS!"


Julia comes over and does Addie's faux-hawk every morning.


Daddy: "See, Maeve, these butterflies are actually covered in tiny feathers, so..."
Maeve: "OMG I TOTALLY SAW THIS GUY ON DIEGO."


This was me almost lighting my mother and my daughter on fire with birthday cake candles. They survived, and perhaps the funniest picture ever taken of Maeve came right after this shot. You can see it, and laugh for hours, here.


Maeve got to go to the second Erie County Fair (you may have heard, there's magic in said fair) of her life. Here, her mother is enjoying a merry-go-round ride a whole slew of hells more than any of the kids on it.


Papa: "See Maeve, this is where milk comes fr..."
Maeve: "OMG I TOTALLY SAW THIS GUY ON DIEGO."


Okay, so Lisa and I went to Boston, and saw this. It's where John Hancock was burried. Seriously. It says, "This monument was erected in memory of John Hancock." I swear I'm not making this up.


Phallic propensities of the founding fathers aside, Lisa and I had a great time in Boston. Would that all self-photographs were this cute, yes?

Friday, August 08, 2008

Oh, I'm around here somewhere.

Okay, I have all of ten seconds in which to post this, but this no-blogging nonsense has gotten out of hand. It was a blogging hiatus, Garvey, not a frickin’ e-hibernation.

Why am I so rushed at 5:58 in the morning? Lisa and I are about to head off to Boston for the weekend. Because we all know baked beans are the perfect way to help you forget about a summer of studying.

The inevitable I Don’t Have Enough Time To Blog, But Here’re A Few Topics To Hold Me Over Section Of Today’s Post:

1.) It’s Phoeby’s birthday! I was going to post about how she turns 45 today, but I sent her a text this morning at 5 telling her she should sleep in. So, no, she really only turns 40.

2.) The New York State Bar Examination has been took, and that’s about all I have to say about that. It sucked and the reason I haven’t been blogging since I took it is because it’s hard to reach the keyboard when you’re curled up in the fetal position under your desk, gnawing on the stubs of your once-nimble fingers. I will say that there are more people who need to be thanked for getting me through that nightmare than I have time to discuss here. I’ll get to them all over the next week or so, but in the meantime, you should all know there’s a special place in Heaven for people like you.

3.) My Dad has a blog! Thank God at least one Mike Garvey was blogging this summer...

4.) And finally, and awesomestly, THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS.